You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps by Tom Holt

Author:Tom Holt [HOLT, TOM]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction / Fantasy - Contemporary, Fiction / Humorous, Fiction / Satire
Publisher: Orbit
Published: 2012-09-04T04:00:00+00:00

‘And then I went back downstairs to have a bloody good cry,’ she went on, ‘and then I thought, maybe I got the wrong end of the stick, I’ll go back up and see if they’re still there, so I came back up and I heard you. You were in my dreams, you said. You bastard,’ she added. ‘So don’t you give me any bullshit about a headache, because—’

‘It wasn’t like that,’ Colin said, and even while he was saying it he could feel the fuel gauge of his emotional reserve dipping into the red. An hour or so can make all the difference. Not so very long ago, nothing could have mattered more than putting things right with the only girl in the world for him. Now, though, he was too worn out to care. Nevertheless: ‘She’s just someone I have to work with,’ he said. ‘That stuff you heard, it’s completely out of context. I couldn’t give a stuff about her, all right?’

‘Liar.’

And he thought: yes, I do love this stupid woman, very much indeed. On the other hand, life’s too short. Very much too short. ‘Suit yourself,’ he said wearily. ‘If you don’t believe me, that’s your choice. Great pity, but there it is.’

There was some small consolation in seeing on someone else’s face the sort of shocked bewilderment he’d been feeling ever since he’d joined the meeting. ‘Right,’ she said, and slammed the door behind her.

Colin sat down again and tried not to laugh. Comical; what had the Clay female been saying about time-crossed lovers? Nothing like the prospect of eternal damnation to take the sting out of a tiff with a girl. In fact, looked at from that perspective, it was a universal panacea for all possible ills. So he was a born loser with no love life and lousy career prospects, but he was going to hell for ever, so who cared? Might as well toddle back to his kennel and stick a few more of those revolting brochures into envelopes, because it really didn’t matter. Once you kick the habit of hope, there’s all sorts of tiresome chores you don’t have to bother with any more; it’s as good as a doctor’s note, or a letter from your Mum saying you’re to be let off PE. It was enough to make a man next best thing to cheerful.

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